The Megaphone Hosting

Long long ago, in the days before the Internet, a mouse was something that made maidens hitch their hooped skirts up and scream. Today that little mechanical wonder is attached to what is arguably the biggest conversation killer of our time. I’m talking about real live face to face conversations here, not chats or IM’s.

I’m Jean-Luc, get it? Not you…and stop being so tight-lipped.

My family’s accused me in the past of preferring online chats to being with ” real people”. Hmm, I wonder how many of you reading this knew you were figments of my imagination? Spooky. Admittedly I have been known to cut short visits to hurry back in time for a scheduled chat but still…that’s a bit of an exaggeration.

Who am I kidding, it’s true! I like not having to dress up for visitors or spend hours tidying the house. My pc doesn’t care if I’m in my pj’s or an evening gown (though the neighbors do give me funny looks when they see me gardening in either). I can have just as many laughs, tears, deep conversations and plain ole chit chat online as well as off for hours.

Best of all, if I get bored or tired, I don’t need to smile politely and nod while inside I’m screaming. I can just log off and wander cyberspace after saying a quick ttfn or bbl. Alternatively I can omit the niceties and plead innocence next time I bump into them online. “Honest, it was a power cut!”

C’mon, don’t pretend to be shocked! I know I’m not the only one to do it. But as a writer of sorts I owe it to myself to at least add a bit of creativity once in a while to my excuse for my sudden disappearance online.

“Well, what happened was a transporter hurtled off a bridge when the chains broke and all the cars went flying, ripping down the power lines when they smashed through the tree tops just above them. No, not on the news, that’s why you didn’t hear about it. It was a covert government mission masquerading as an everyday sight so there was a media blackout. Those cars had capabilities you wouldn’t dream of. My friend’s a policeman and he told me, but don’t repeat that. It’s on a need-to-know basis.”

Funny enough, those people I rarely hear from them again. A win-win situation there.

But I digress. So what’s the verdict? Is the Internet really the biggest conversation killer of our time? That’s probably too harsh an assessment. In all seriousness though, I do think it’s changed our definition of “chatting” and how we socialize forever, with more positive aspects than negative.

What do you think?